Psychology is a field I find very interesting. I’m not too big on the stuff that’s way out there, but I’ve found many techniques which will boost your income as well as your overall happiness. That’s what I’m going to cover in this series: basic psychological concepts you can use on the job as well as in your every-day life.

The first thing I want to talk about is using phone interviews to your advantage. I hate phone interviews, but lately buyers have wanted to contact me via Skype, an internet-based phone/voice chat service. If you don’t already have Skype, you should get it. It’s free for Skype-to-Skype calls, and there’s several buyers who use it. For international calls, it’s very cheap as well. You can go pretty far on just 10 dollars. Just Google for “Skype” real quick, and you’ll find the place to download the program.

As I said, I do not like phone interviews, but they’re a fact of life for freelancers who want to work with larger companies. I’m more of a face-to-face person as I like to be able to read body language and respond appropriately. So, how do I use phone conversations to my advantage? Here’s how:

Pacing

It’s a basic salesman technique, and it’s highly effective when performed properly. Many people don’t know how to pace a buyer correctly, and it can hurt you if another provider naturally meshes with the buyer. It’s not hypnotism like some people think. It’s all about making the buyer comfortable with your voice and identify with you. Most naturally effective communicators do it without even thinking, and those people are most successful in endeavors that require working with others.

Here’s a story to show what bad pacing (or no pacing) can do to you. I was in a phone conference interview which included three people total: me, the buyer, and another provider. Due to my fantastically wacky sleep schedule, I had only been awake for an hour or two before the interview started, so I had to prepare quickly in addition to getting my brain to function. I’m naturally low-key and laid back, but I was a little more so that afternoon. It worked to my advantage. When I entered the interview, it was just me and the buyer, and since the other provider was late, we started without her. After we got in a little ways, she showed up, and we backtracked and he covered the material up to that point a second time. That worked to my advantage too as it allowed me to identify some key terms so I could mirror him. More on that later.

So, this lady gets on the horn, and she’s super perky. Meanwhile, the buyer and I are laid back and speaking slowly. Around the third sentence, my brain had a Sam Kinison moment. It screamed, “AHHH! AHHH! I’M IN HELL!” We heard a high-pitched, fast-talking, ultra-perk voice after our slow and fluid discussion, and it really stuck out. In a bad way. It didn’t follow the dynamic that was already established, so it was incredibly jarring for me.

When you’re interviewing with a buyer by phone, you watch to match their rhythms, pitch, and speed as much as you can. It helps you identify with the buyer and communicate on their terms, and if you follow their lead, it shows that you’ll be easy to work with. Don’t do it to a point where you’re mocking the buyer. Just adapt to the conditions of the conversation so you won’t stick out like a blaring beacon of disruption. The key is to be subtle and try to create a synergy between you where communication becomes easy and naturally flows.

How It Can Be Integrated Into Your Daily Life

You’ll find this technique to work wonders while you’re talking to people face-to-face. You’ll find that people will be more relaxed around you, more forthcoming with information, and they will like you more. People enjoy being around people who are like them. That’s why you see depressed, moping people clustered in groups at coffee shops wearing vintage T-shirts and discussing obscure bands. The rest of society shuns them for being vapid and generally annoying, so they’ve adapted and hang out with each other. If you ever need to talk to people like that–and I hope you never have to–you can’t just run up on them with a smile on your face and expect them to react positively towards you. That makes you an outsider. Instead, you have to drag your feet as you walk, stare at the ground with a frown on your face, and start the conversation with something like, “I cut myself because my parents took away my allowance.” In that extreme case, you’ll be putting on an act (I hope), but you’ll get better results by identifying yourself with the group instantly.

To learn how to pace people better, just try it in your everyday life! Go up to strangers and practice on them. Use it at the store. Try it on your friends and family. Any time you talk to someone, make an effort to match their style of communication and see how well it works for yourself!

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