The constant drone of the air-conditioner reminds me that summer’s here again.
As I write this the kids are in the pool out back, and half a dozen friends have joined them. The fridge is full and tonight we’re having a barbecue.
It’s a common picture, and seeing as today’s Father’s Day I wouldn’t be surprised to see the scene repeated all over North America. The only problem with this scene is the one astute readers have probably already noticed: the kids may be out in the back yard, but I’m here at my desk pounding away at my keyboard.
That’s summer; and for those of us with families it brings a whole new set of challenges. For the rest of the year I can pretty much count on having the place to myself to work from about 830 AM when the last one leaves for school until 245PM when the first one gets home. That’s six hours I can use to fit in everything I need to do without fear of interruption.
Not so in summer.
Now I have the kids home all day and have to arrange my work schedule around them: The teenagers aren’t too bad, all I need to do is throw money at them if I need peace and quiet to work and they’ll go off and do their own thing.
My six-year-old daughter; not so much. She needs supervision and since I’m the stay-at-home parent (or work-from-home parent) I’m the super left doing the vising.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t do much for my bank account, and being home all day, they’re eating more.
So, here’s the question: How do I deal with it?
The first part’s simple: It’s something you need to do from the very beginning. Make sure the kids understand that when you’re working you’re “WORKING.” You need to make it clear to them from the beginning that this is important and you can’t be stopping every few minutes because they need something.
The second has to do with scheduling:
During the school year I base much of my work schedule around their school schedule. Now that they’re not at school I need to base my work schedule around its absence. I get up early during the week because their mother has a seventy-five mile commute and I get up with her. She’s out the door by six or six-thirty depending on what she has to do that day.
If I go straight to the computer (coffee’s already been brewed automatically) I can get some work done before the kids get up.
Another option is working after they go to sleep: Now with a 5AM alarm I’m not going to stay up later than the teenagers. It’s not going to happen and if it did I’d be a homicidal zombie in a matter of days. However they’re much less of a problem (except their music) than the six-year-old so I can always just work once she’s gone to sleep.
This is where the renowned flexibility of being a freelancer comes in. It’s not just that being a freelancer allows you to be flexible, it’s that it requires you to be flexible.
Every single one of those good habits you’ve developed to make sure that you get your work done has to be formed in such a way that you can change it when your situation changes.
In the meantime: Enjoy your summer!
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Yeah, it’s difficult to keep a schedule on your own, and I’d imagine it’s harder with kids.
Wow - I hope your wife has a hybrid car!
I think the key with children and working at home, which for some is a real struggle it seems, is two-fold.
First, an excellent wife (or husband, I suppose) who understands that it’s there duty to be the primary caregiver during the day while you are “at work”. Although you are, in fact, home and available for emergencies and serious discipline issues should the need arise, you are considered otherwise indisposed by your family. Your wife should help enforce this concept to the children who may not understand it.
Second, it’s important to schedule time with the children and family during the times when all the other daddies are at work. Why not? You freelance for a reason right? And what better self-confirming action can you take than to silently snicker at all the cars parked at Big Corp while you take your children to the movie/park/pool etc. Those are the things they remember.
I don’t recommend making a habit of working in the evening (ahem! speaking to myself here) as it then leaves little room for you and your spouse to develop a regular time. It doesn’t have to be “date night” every night, but one (or both) of you sitting in front of the computer night after night is a little drab - and probably what neither of you imagined married life to be when you were picking out the cake.
So, to sum up…. make time with children when other father’s cant, keep at least 3-4 nights a week free for time with wife (even if it’s just watching TV or cleaning up dishes together), and don’t feel guilty about the 30+ hours away from children during the week. You are still with them more than most parents - and you’re giving yourself a chance to one day break into the big leagues so that you can even have more time with them.
Thanks Lawrence, those are really good points and I’m glad you brought them up. It’s always a trade-off between time spent with the kids and time spent working.
I’m just glad that as a freelancer I have the opportunity to make those choices myself rather than having them forced on me.
Dave,
This is a great reminder to parents who work from home and have kids. Flexibility is the key. My kids are teenagers now, so it is a little easier because they understand what is going on (and they sleep late so I have lots of work time in mornings). But I do remember a couple of years ago having to do what you are talking about. It always took some adjusting to the lack of routine in the summer, but it always worked out.
I love your line about “I’m the super left doing the vising.”
I am going to pass your article on to other writers I know who are going through the same thing.
Happy Writing!
Kerrie