In my first post, I talked about why you should consider editing and the general skills needed. This post is about what you are likely to see.

Native speakers

Native speakers of English are prone to different problems than foreign speakers. Here’s an example of something I edited that had already been purchased for an article job:

An intense study on toxins has come up with the very fact that toxins tend to make a significant alterations in the hormonal regulation of the body weight. Toxins play a pivotal role in altering the metabolic activities of the thyroid hormone and receptor function, thus giving rise to a much-reduced metabolic rate. In fact toxins can cause the body to gain an excessive over-weight. This is the main reason as to why toxic lifestyle and obesity epidemic are interrelated.

Detoxification is basically the process of removal of heavy and toxic materials from the body, more specifically from kidneys and liver plays a pivotal role in the effectual weight management. The prime reason that contributes to an obesity epidemic is the fact that in the current fast-paced life, we rely on the consumption of junk food and the maximum utilization of the automobiles that tend to make us the prime victims of the obesity.

The first thing that jumped out at me was the run on feel of the sentences. The writer has something to say, they just try to cram too much into each sentence. Removing some of the excess verbiage led to this as the corrected first paragraph:

Studies prove that toxins significantly alter the hormonal regulation of body weight. They alter the metabolic rate by changing the activity of thyroid hormone and receptors. These changes explain why obesity is a consequence of a toxic lifestyle.

The steps required to edit/rewrite this are straightforward:

1. Read it and try to figure out what the writer wants to say.
2. Pick out redundancies and eliminate them.
3. Reorder the sentences so that new information comes after linking phrases (note the use of alter as a linking word and then change as the next linking word).
4. Keep the key concepts intact- you are not allowed to inject your own opinions or add information.
5. Try to keep the style consistent with the original work. No point of view changes or ‘voice’ changes.

That last one deserves some explanation. I could have rewritten it to be even plainer. It wouldn’t then be ‘true’ to the original though. This is a judgment call. How much is corrective surgery and how much cosmetic? In the end, I strive to make the final cut similar enough to the original that the changes are visible to the buyer. I want them to see (at least subconsciously) what I did.

ESL writers

In this category, you find some off-shore bulk article writers (English as a second language who write for English speaking readers) and non-native speakers who recognize their skills aren’t up to par. Forgive me the generalization, I’m not talking about skilled ESL writers or simply people who aren’t living in the US or Great Britain. Perhaps the example I used last time (from an oDesk cover letter) would make the point better:

I am one of the serious bidders for the project. With me working on your project you can be rest assured about the quality. I will always keep you informing about the progress so that you can be in loop and relaxed. I am really enthusiastic about the project. We believe in work quality, customer satisfaction and timely delivery of projects for better relations wit customers, Achieving 100% customer satisfaction and proving our best services.

That paragraph has been spell checked, but there are usage and grammar errors that make it hard to read. Editing of this type involves more proofreading than the first and less rewriting. A simple proofreading leads to this:

I am one of the serious bidders for the project. With me working on your project you can rest assured about the quality. I will always keep you informed of the progress so that you can be in the loop and relaxed. I am really enthusiastic about the project. We believe in work quality, customer satisfaction and timely delivery of projects to obtain better relations with customers- Achieving 100% customer satisfaction and proving our services are the best.

To my inner ear, this is still clunky, but the grammar and usage errors have been fixed. On this type of editing job, I send a marked up version (using the show markup feature in MS Word or Open Office) as well as a final, publishable version. This is to highlight the corrections so that buyers can see what I’ve done and perhaps add their own changes to my changes (hey, it happens).

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